Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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