why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
