I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
