Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
