All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
