If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
