just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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