first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do vagina's smell?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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