dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
