Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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