I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
