How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
