Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
