dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
