I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
