batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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