In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
