Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
