So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
