I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
