She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
