Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
