i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
