I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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