jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
