im gay
i know
yea but for you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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