talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
