So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize