Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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