how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
