Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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