The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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