Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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