so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
