it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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