Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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