I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
