i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
True strength comes from lack of pants
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
