What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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