he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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