If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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