Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
