i may or may not be watching the land before time
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
