Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
