Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I currently don't understand fingers.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
