i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
