I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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