There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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