Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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