I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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