I never want to see another naked old woman again.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
