Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pants are for mortals
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
