I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
