I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
