This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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