No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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