In the future we'll all be gay
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
