Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
