can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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