Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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