Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
