taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
