Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think my moral compass just broke
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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