no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
