I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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