I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He told me they were just razor bumps!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
