It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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