so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can't put those talents on a resume
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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