Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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