I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
